Dreaming of malicious destruction
By Quinok – Quino Arnau (Own work) [GFDL (www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-3.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Sent to demolish the Doge’s Palace
I’m part of a demolition group in a sleek 50’s looking speedboat transporter that looks like an early Porsche sports car. It has a motor, despite it being 200 B.C (or something).
At first I am taking part in a documentary, then I am one of the Roman soldiers in this vessel that rams and gradually hacks at parts of what I am calling the Doge’s Palace. It looks like Venice.
I find myself first dislodging some crucial piece of masonry on a corner pole, then alone, trying to remove heaped up stuff around a gap either side of a natural stone feature that protects the inner courtyard from the sea. I am getting close when a very average contemporary bloke as if returning from a lunch break and works in the yard, with machinery, come over; the driver of these carefully fork-lift truck placed fruit boxes of rubble spots me.
I wake as I contemplate the consequences of him alerting the guard or of my finding a weapon to kill him before he gets help.
Who are You ?
A soldier, or demolition expert on a mission to destroy or damage the Doge’s Palace.
Who are you with ?
No one I recognise, or see. Aware of this ‘troop transporter’ vehicle motoring across the canal/lake towards the Palace (Actually just a quality Venice canal-side property rather than the palace itself even if I call it this). The only person I see is ‘Mr Average’ who comes across me dismantling the sea defence.
What details stand out ?
The fifties, aluminium and riveted Porsche cum Seaplane like covered motorboat transporter. The nature of the ‘cut’ or gap in a natural stone formation to protect the ‘palace’ from the sea. The ‘fruit boxes’ that seem to form the brickwork. Various holes and weaknesses in the defences that I am trying to expose to the sea.
What do you feel about them ?
Reminds me of an activity I might have done as a child, or that I do now with a child, playing in running water, say by a stream or by a river or at the seaside. Either making a dam of rocks and sand, or releasing a dam to let the water flow through.
What are the various actions in the dream ?
Destruction. Breaking apart. Making gaps. Letting the sea in. Destruction with a purpose. Being on ‘a side’. Working alone, though I meant to be part of a team.
How am I as Dream Ego acting/behaving in this dream ?
Fastidiously. with private pleasure. I am looking forward to watching the sea rushing in.
What relation does this dream have to my personality ?
An interest in doing something that has consequences then sitting back to see what happens. Getting flashbacks of a TV show, or a part of a dream, about a character who must learn that ‘actions have consequences’ that when you do something, something else results … and that this is a lesson that is important to learn. This (I realise as I write) was the storyline of Star Trek Voyager last night, a story called ‘Q2’ about a miscreant omnipotent God of some kind.
What does this dream want from me ?
To let go of, or destroy barriers that are protecting us or rather preventing change? To do so in a controlled way, but to do it ???
What are the various feelings in this dream ?
Getting on with a task because as told to do. The consequences are obvious, if I am successful, though I am not to blame. I am following orders.
What relation does this dream have to what is happening now in my life ?
A time of change, a time of letting go of, or altering how I perceived things. Perhaps I must let go of the idea of being (for now) the ‘bread winner’ … let it be washed away and try to be a good ‘mother’ instead. Not just taking the kids to school, occupying them in the pool, both the playground and on trips, not just shopping, preparing meals and tidying the food things away, but also doing ‘housework’ – tidying up after the kids, making beds, doing the laundry and cleaning. Maybe.
Why did I need this dream ?
I need reassurance that the struggle is worthwhile, that I will find a way out of this turmoil … that I will reach dry land/destroy or undo the past.
Why have I had this dream now ?
Because circumstances are dragging me along, because certain ‘structures’ that now exist need breaking down, washed away, cleansed …
What relation does this dream have to something in my future ?
Maybe it expressed my only skill … destroying things.
What new questions arise as a result of this dream work ?
Am I brave enough to ‘break down’ what already exists? Ought I be doing it alone? No. What do i put in its place? Darlingest lights up when she imagines us living in a cottage on the cliff edge at Cuckmere, or renting the lighthouse at Beachy Head. I favour a cottage in the country, but not remote from a good supermarket, state school and modern swimming pool. A detached house with a garden close to the sea. Padstow or Rock, Bridport perhaps, somewhere on the North or South coast of Cornwall.
Who or what is the adversary in the dream ?
The man who finds me sneaking about at a vulnerable spot in the earthworks, the destruction of which will let the sea in and destroy the Doge’s palace. He works there, possibly as a contractor, nothing else, into a guard or soldier. But I see his the concern on his face and imagine he goes off having taken a quick look at what I am doing to raise the alarm.
What is being wounded in this dream ?
My efforts. The idea that I can do something by sneaking about unseen.
What would I like to avoid in this dream ?
Being stopped. I wake before the sea walls are breached, but I am looking forward to the satisfaction of seeing a task achieved in such a dramatic way. A bit like a dam buster. Very much the same childish thrill of build and destroying dams of sand on the beach.
What is being healed in this dream ?
Permission to behave like this?
What or who is the helping or healing force/agent in this dream ?
There isn’t one, outside the clarity of the goal.
Who or what is my companion in this dream ?
There is no one.
Who are my helpers and guides in life and in my dreams ?
What symbols in this dream are important to me ?
Making a breach in a defence in order to wash something away as a task set by my nation … it feels like a war effort.
What actions might this dream be suggesting I consider ?
Seeking support for my actions.
What can happen if I work actively with this dream ?
I might help Darlingest understand how i feel about our circumstances, that if anything I am seeking to let go of much of the substance of how we live … the house for a start. But it goes deeper than that. I don’t feel able to go back to the kind of freelance work I once did either, my spirit is not in reviving my ‘freelance’ career.
What is being accepted in this dream ?
That things must change, but I don’t know what to.
What choices can I, and will I, make as a result of having this dream ?
Talk to Darlingest. See how we can recover and move on.
What questions does this dream ask of me ?
How am I going to do it and get away with it?
Why am I not dealing with this situation ?
It feels as if there are few options, it is complex, there are major financial burdens/problems. My happiness may have to be compromised for that of he family.
What do you want to ask us your dream spirits ?
Make this kind of dream a recurrent dream and I will use the experience to deal with the issues in my daily life.