From E-Learning V

Fig.1 All images too disgusting to share … so here’s a diagram instead!

Unusual that during a hospital visit the consultant asks me to make myself ill and return the following week for a biopsy. This is testing for ‘Lichen Planus’ – an unpleseant ulcerating of the soft tissues of the mouth. Breakfast the morning before will therefore be: a packet of HulaHoops, a chocolate HobNob, Marmite on toast with tomato ketchup, a spoonful of heated up Chicken Phal, cheap ice-cream say a ‘Feast’ and a small glass of Spanish lager, or Guinness or Newcastle Brown Ale. I can then rinse my mouth out with a specific brand of mouthwash that contains some chemical that causes a reaction.

I predict ulcers, a large blood spot and what are like raised, scratch marks inside my mouth. If I really eat the above I think I’ll be sick. Come to think of it, if a handful of HulaHoops does the job why bother with the rest?

I will have some prescribed pain relief and an anaesthetising mouthwash to use straight afterwards.