C

 

Cabaret 1972

 

Caddyshack 1982

TV does this better and for less.

 

La Cage aux Folles 1978

The French did it best.

 

Calamity Jane 1953

With Doris Day. Don’t even get this on TV anymore, though this is where I would have seen it twenty odd years ago.

 

Call of the Wild 1972

 

Camelot 1967

But Richard Harris can’t sing and his toupee or brush-over looks ridiculous.

 

Camille Claudel 1988

Isabelle Adjani as Rodin’s pupil and mistress. Brilliant.

 

The Cannonball Run 1980

Whacky Races with has been talent.

 

Cape Fear 1991

Scary stuff. Robert de Niro is hideous and Juliette Lewis a wet fanny.

 

Capricorn One 1978

A film with Elliot Gould – there used to be a lot of them.

 

Captain Blood 1935

The pirate film that made Errol Flynn. Have I seen it? Or just clips?

 

Captain Correlli’s Mandolin 2001

Great book, shame about the film and Nicholas Cage’s accent.

 

Caravaggio 1986

Derek Jarman. What a ham. So gay I nearly walked out. Saw it at the ICA with Derek Jarman giving a talk afterwards.

 

Carrie 1976

Sissy Spacek in this Stephen King novel directed by Brian de Palma.

 

Carry on up the Khyber 1968

And many other Carry On films (all on TV, usually around Easter or Christmas)

 

Casablanca 1942

Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Burgman … and so much analysed we all know the story inside out.

 

The Casino Royale 1967

‘One of the most shameless wastes of time and talent in screen history.’ I can see where Austin Powers came from.

 

Casper 1995

With Christina Ricci.

 

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof 1958

Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor

 

Catch 22 1970

 

Catch Me if You Can 2000

Stephen Speilberg directs Leonardo di Caprio and Tom Hanks. Great stuff.

 

The Cement Garden 1993

Charlotte Gainsbourge has sex with her brother after their parents die.

 

Chaplin 1992

Before Robert Downey Jnr went off the rails. Directed by Richard Attenborough. 145m … though some thought it should be longer.

 

The Charge of the Light Brigade 1968

With Trevor Howard

 

Chariots of Fire 1981

‘The Brits are coming’ Oh yeah?

 

Charlotte Gray 2001

Cate Blanchet from a best selling novel.

 

Le Chateua de Ma Mere 1990

Lovely French film of childhood growing up in Provence.

 

Cheaper by the Dozen 2003

 

Chicago 2002

In which Catherine Zeta Jones should NOT have received an Oscar.

 

Chinatown 1974

Roman Polanski directs Jack Nicholson.

 

A Chorus Line 1985

 

A Christmas Carol 1938

Never bettered.

 

The Cider House Rules 1999

Lasse Haelstgrom with Tobey Mcguire.

 

Cinema Paradiso 1989

Lovely.

 

Circle of Two 1980

A 60 year old artist falls for a teenage student. Should this be allowed? Richard Burton was eyeing up Tatum O’Neal.

 

Citizen Cane 1941

Orson Wells

 

City Slickers 1991

 

Clear and Present Danger 1994

Harrison Ford is the same in each one of these.

 

Cleopatra 1963

Have I ever sat through all of this?

 

Clerks 1994

 

Cliffhanger 1993

 

Clockwork Mice 1995

Vadim Jean at his inadequate again.

 

Clockwork Orange 1971

But have I sat through it?

 

Close Encounters of the Third Kind 1977

 

A Close Shave 1995

 

Cocoon 1985

With Don Ameche directed by Ron Howard.

 

The Color Purple 1985

Whoopi Goldberg directed by Stephen Speilberg

 

Coma 1978

Where Michael Crichton began (I believe). With Genevieve Bujold and Michael Douglas.

 

The Commitments 1991

The audience sequence is the blueprint for the X Factor.

 

The Company of Wolves 1984

 

Conan the Barbarian 1981

 

Conan the Destroyer 1984

 

Condorman 1981

With Michael Crawford.

 

The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and His Lover 1989

Peter Greenaway. Why critics rate this unpalatable, unpopular tosh so highly I cannot fathom.

 

Cool Hand Luke 1987

Paul Newman eats a lot of hard boiled eggs.

 

The Count of Monte Cristo 2002

Kevin Reynolds with some unknowns – needed the style and action of Pirates of the Caribbean.

 

Cousin, Cousine 1975

Various love affairs centre on a family wedding.

On video somewhere.

 

Crash 1996

James Spader is weird in J G Ballard’s weird book.

 

Creature Comforts 1989

Another Oscar for Nick Park.

 

Crimes and Misdemeanors 1989

Woody Allen at his most insightful.

 

Crimes of Passion 1984

Ken Russell at his perverted, esoteric worst.

 

‘Crocodile’ Dundee 1986

Paul Hogan in a surprising hit

 

Cromwell 1970

Alec Guinness and Richard Harris. The kind of thing that turned me on to history despite its stogginess.

 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 2000

 

The Crucible 1996

Daniel Day Lewis and Winona Rider in 1690’s Salem

 

The Crying Game 1996

Neil Jordan and an IRA Murderer.

 

The Curse of Frankenstein 1957

Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee.

 

Cyrano de Bergerac 1990

Brilliant with Gerard Depardieu